In this article I want to help you prepare for something almost all of us experience when dating: bad dates.Specifically, I want to encourage you to view these events in a particular light and hope to offer encouragement for those who feel they are failing.A friend of mine signed up for a dating service, worked through the profiles finding a few he liked, contacted several girls and ended up going on a date a few weeks later.
For their second date, they met at a local art gallery and things went down hill fast.
My friend could not get his date to say more than a few words in response to anything he said.
He described how uncomfortable it was to walk through the entire gallery feeling as if he were talking to a wall.
Then he said something I found interesting: My friend’s response reflects how many of us view our dating failures: we are often inclined to attribute any and all dating failures to ourselves.
In this case, a man had made an effort to meet a woman, selected an excellent and interesting (and safe) place to meet, discussed the art they were looking at together and when she failed to enter any conversations, he blamed (or at least questioned) himself.
My response to this is: why in the world would anyone want to date a woman who was incapable of even the smallest talk, especially when surrounded by walls full of conversation material.
Whether she was just shy or disliked the gallery, to have a conversation is no heroic task.
Even if she disliked the date, any intelligent person would realize that the date isn’t going to go any better by not speaking.
Those with some intelligence would know that this would only drag the date out. Many people look at dating from the exact opposite view that they should be.
The big problem here wasn’t the fact that my friend ended up on a bad date. Bluntly stated, you cannot approach dating as if you are the salesman (selling yourself) and as such thinking if the “sale” doesn’t go through, you were the problem.
because, in reality, when you go on a date you are looking for something you desire.