Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone.But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face.
I think all guys would generally agree: we tend to be single-minded in what we’re doing and focus on meeting one objective at a time. 5) If I’m with another girl (note: If I’m in a relationship it’s monogamous, I never cheat, but if not dating around is fair game.) If you want to know why specifically he’s not texting you back (and what to do about it), click here to take our “Why Doesn’t He Text Back? In your situation, it sounds like this guy will try to make plans and then when it gets complicated, or it seems like it isn’t going to happen, he directs his attention elsewhere and doesn’t feel the need to text further (again it comes down to the concept of a man’s tendency to single-mindedly fixate on fulfilling an objective or reaching a goal).Anything outside of our focus at that moment is a distraction that we don’t want to “deal with”. Now you mentioned that you’ve expressed your frustration over his behavior and he hasn’t changed. ’) you might think you’re drawing a line in the sand, but he sees it as something else entirely: NEEDINESS.The times in my life that I would go MIA on a text message would be: 1) If I wasn’t that into her. The reason for that is simple – when you call a guy out on something (‘why didn’t you call? I think I speak for all guys when I say avoid acting needy at all costs.Neediness has repelled me away from more women than I care to disclose. A few clarifying points: I know the term “neediness” gets thrown around a lot these days, so I want to be really specific in how I define it. It finds a way to telegraph itself no matter how much the person tries not to “act needy”.So when I talk about neediness or acting needy, I’m not recommending that you change how you behave or even try to avoid these actions. A much more empowering mindset is to simply not settle for what you don’t want and seek out what you do want… Also, I want to be clear that good, clear communication of what you want and what you don’t want is part of any good and healthy relationship.
Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… There’s nothing wrong with having preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… So bear in mind that this response to you is from the context that you’ve repeatedly brought this up as an issue and there’s been no change in his behavior.
At this point, rather than calling him out when he doesn’t respond, you would be far more effective if you make other plans when this happens.
DON’T wait on him because people tend to fall into a routine with other people based on past behavior.
If you’re always available to the guy, it’s only natural that he’ll expect you to be available whenever he feels like contacting you.
If your availability is limited (and therefore requires planning and coordination to reach you), then he will make an effort to set time aside for you and make solid plans with you (instead of contacting you only when it’s convenient for him). it’s a human thing – we only put effort into interactions that require it.
And the interesting part is that the more we put effort into a relationship with someone, the more invested WE become.