I’m back with another post in my series on being single.And since this time of the year can sometimes be a bit of a downer for singles, I thought we’d lighten the mood with the topic that never fails to entertain — online dating photos.
But for the general good of the online dating world, and to hopefully offer some help to all of those handsome bachelors out there considering a bathroom selfie, I would like to offer this helpful little list of 10 photos guys should NOT post for online dating.Yes, yes, I know that we girls have our own set of cliche photos (hello, feet in the sand? Now before you all start emailing me about being Judgy Mc Judgerson, please know right off that this is of intentions. But seriously guys, if you think you’re going to impress us with your sweet ride, think again.But boy oh boy, have your photos made my day on more than a number of occasions. We just want to know that you have some wheels to drive us to dinner. The Ex-Girlfriend Crop Double points if Photoshop was used to blur or blacken the ex out.;) So for any guys out there getting Matched, EHarmonized, Fished a Plenty, struck with an OK arrow from Cupid, Mingling with Christians and more right now, I invite you to put down your weights, take off those sunglasses, and enjoy this post. Because what’s more sexy than a toilet in the background? But photos upon photos of vast landscapes and a teeeeeny tiny you (if you’re in there at all)? But otherwise, focus on the photos that have in focus, and save the rest for a little photo slide show on date night #3 at your place. The Car I’m pretty sure that every girl’s dating profile does not include a photo of her with her car. Triple points if you crop out girls on either side of you. I don’t care if it’s the most flattering photo of you ever.Oh men, I know that the bathroom is probably the home to the largest mirror in your house, so I get why the bathroom selfies would theoretically be a good idea. Then we can snuggle up and you can tell travel stories for hours. If a girl’s in the photo, we are going to assume that (unless clearly captioned) this is your most recent ex.
(Ok, it’s a stretch, but I get it.) Remember though that this is our of you. And your attractiveness immediately turns into awkwardness, which turns into ahhh-let’s-just-move-onto-the-next-profile-ness. So the solution to this one is easy — just find some other great photos to post! The Mustache Ok, I’m prepped and know I’m probably going to get a lot of flack on this one.
And where do first impressions take place in real life? So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. The Macho, Macho Man Sorry to break it to you guys, but we aren’t looking for tickets to the “gun show” in your profiles. Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. The Shirtless Just as your mother probably told you at age 3 — “Son, get your clothes back on!! If we meet you at a party or a wedding or a coffee shop, I’m pretty positive that you are always going to be fully dressed for that first impression. And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. The Beer Fanatic (Ok, I thought it’d be nice to include at least one decent photo of my friend, GQ-model, and extremely-good-sport, Nate.) But this final one is just a little reminder that your online dating profile should be advertising , not your favorite beer.
Nor pics of you dripping sweat (and smelling lovely, we’re sure) at the gym. So it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. The Hunter Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt? But unless it’s November, or unless you’re a super hipster who knows how to rock a mustache (and even that can be debatable), it’s probably best to play it safe and either go all (beard) or nothin’ (nothin’). I’m all for enjoying drinks with friends, and posting a photo or two to document said enjoyment is NBD.
Nor do you need to highlight in every section of your bio that you workout, count “going to the gym” as your top hobby, or are “looking for a girl who values physical fitness”. So even if you have the best abs ever (and especially if you don’t), just be a gent and put your clothes on — some nice, buttoned-up, normal clothes that your mother would approve of. But when you’re holding a beer in everysinglephoto? So put your coozie down, and grab a glass of water every now and then.
Trust us, we think it’s super cool that you take care of yourself and stay in shape. You know, gotta stay hydrated after those other beers…
And if sports or working out are big parts of your life, then awesome — post that classic photo of you and your buds crawling through the mud to the finish line or playing volleyball or biking in that triathlon. But the sweaty guy pics and your bench press number can, um, stay at the gym. The Man Without A Face Ok, we totally get that you often wear sunglasses or hats when you are outside. Cheers to hipster apparel and protecting your skin and eyes from those harmful UV rays, right? Disclaimer: Again, please know that ALL of these are in good fun.