Frasier: Niles, was that Natalie Spencer I just saw you talking with? I've been admiring her all evening, so I steeled myself and asked her if she might be free next week. Niles: Well, her lips said "no", but her eyes said "read my lips". [Frasier grabs the tickets as the crowd starts laughing at him] Frasier: Oh, don't look so smug, you try skating and blowing into a jug while your heart's breaking! Niles: Have you noticed there are fewer hazlenuts in these biscotti? Niles: And yet they've gone up twenty-five cents. Frasier: [talking about Nashville on Ice: The All-Skating Country Jamboree] You try skating and blowing into a jug while your heart is breaking. Frasier: Oh, fewer nuts, more money - something I've been aspiring to for my entire professional life! Frasier: Dad, there was a time after my first marriage was breaking up, I was talking to Mom.
I felt so mortified just buying the tickets, I paid cash so they couldn't trace it back to me. " Roz Doyle: You haven't seen my friend John here, have you? This is the "Roz" that I want him to tell people about at that wedding in Wisconsin. Niles: Well, were you seriously considering playing couple's therapist with Dad and that woman, after we just got rid of her? Right now, I feel like a seafront village after the Vikings have left. Frasier: I have no intention in repairing the rift. If you get lucky tonight she might just look at that rash of yours! Frasier: So, for the second time in two nights Sherry manages to chase away another date! [Frasier brags about having three dates in a row that weekend] Roz Doyle: Not bad. If I didn't know better, I'd say someone was a little jealous. God, last night for the first time in months I wasn't jolted awake at two a.m. She's like a scarecrow in the cornfield of my love life! Frasier: You'll get a full debriefing - as, hopefully, will I. I'd offer you a sherry, but I'm fresh out! After this weekend you may have to give up your dating crown. by her rousing rendition of "Funky Mountain Breakdown"! Niles: I don't know how many more of your disastrous love stories I can hear. [They slam their chests together] Niles: I can't believe Dad finally came to his senses! Frasier: Well no, not after what happened last time. Roz Doyle: I once had three dates on a single Saturday and still had time to defrost my refrigerator and rotate my tires. I'll say "when." Frasier: [to Eddie] All right, young animal: learn from the master. Frasier: [deflated] It's a wonder you could rotate anything after that.
Now, follow these time-honored traditions, and you too might get lucky with that young Pekinese peach you've been eyeing in the park. And then, for lighting: not so bright as to show the wrinkles, not so dark as to make her think you're hiding anything. [holds up wine bottle] Frasier: Pouily Fuisse 1992, elector a la carte. [a bell is heard from the kitchen] Frasier: Oh, there's my canapés. Niles: I suppose you came over here to gloat because a woman came onto you.
Frasier: Not hardly, I wouldn't do that sort of thing. [Niles balks at asking out an attractive woman at a party, while two women have already come onto Frasier] Frasier: Well Niles, I'll tell you what. [She enters the elevator] Daphne Moon: [to the camera] He's been under a lot of stress lately. Daphne Moon: Yes, but he said don't worry about it.
I came over here to gloat because *two* women came onto me! Frasier: My God, I've never had a night like this in my entire life! Seeing as how Cupid has so amply stocked my quiver this evening, I shall try and shine on your behalf. [Daphne is practicing an American accent] Daphne Moon: I'll see you later. He said lots of people pull down their pants to tuck in their shirts.
Niles: [nearly sick] Oh my God, you're unbearable! [He opens his umbrella over his head, and starts to unbuckle his trousers, but finds how hard it is to do with only one hand. [normal voice] Daphne Moon: You see, that's the problem when I speak American, I don't know what to do with my "R"s. [while riding up in the elevator, Daphne waves toward the ceiling] Frasier: What are you doing? Though he did recommend having that rash looked at. Frasier Crane: Well Niles, it doesn't look like anybody is leaving; why don't we take a table outside?
[in the elevator, Frasier starts to re-tuck his shirt, but remembers the hidden camera] Frasier: Not so fast, Mr. When the doors open, Daphne is waiting there, and Frasier shuffles out in a half-crouch, with his pants around his knees and still holding the umbrella over his head] Frasier: Daphne. [Frasier is trying to mend fences between Martin and Sherry] Frasier: Wait, can you just stay for a few minutes? Sherry Dempsey: Oh, it sure didn't look like he wanted to.
Frasier: Oh, he's just being his old stubborn, ornery self! Daphne Moon: Well, at least they'll be in a good mood when they come out. Frasier: Daphne, please, Sherry and dad don't have make-up sex.