With six children, I (Barbara) really can’t remember everything I say.
After establishing that foundation, : “Now, I know you heard me” or “I think you selectively chose not to hear me.And I want you to know that’s a lie; that’s not the truth.” Discipline may be appropriate.You may also want to warn them that persisting in this behavior will lead to bad consequences in the future: “When you are an adult, you can pretend not to hear, but it will get you fired from a job.” Disciplining deceit So what happens if you catch your child red-handed in a lie?Let’s say your daughter spent the night with a friend and told you the next day that they watched a clean family movie.Then you learn that the movie was anything but clean and that she knew it all along. Stick your heads together and pray over your options. On one occasion, we disciplined one of our boys by telling him he couldn’t be part of his baseball team for a game; he had to sit on the sidelines and watch, and he was their top pitcher. For our girls, grounding them from the phone, their favorite source of social interaction is a painful penalty.
After uncovering the lie, one of your assets as a parent is to delay punishment—not too long, but long enough to let the child’s imagination run a bit wild. Recently we’ve added e-mail to the list of privileges to remove as a discipline.Your discipline needs to match the level of deceit.If it really has been a crafty deceit, perhaps a con job perpetrated over a long period of time, the discipline needs to be more severe.It needs to imprint the lesson on your teen’s character. When you deceive another person, it takes time for that relationship to be healed and for trust to be reestablished.For the single parent Being single-handed as a parent means that you need an even better network of spies and eyes looking out for the best interests of your child.Consider a number of parents who have children the same age as yours and commission them to help you catch your child doing things right or wrong.