This could be extremely controversial and slightly off-topic, but what about some sort of open thread about either (1) dating people who are way less busy than you are or (2) dating people who have way less money.I know that outside of office romances, the subject of dating has not really been broached, but I think so many of the corporette-readers probably have had one of these two issues.I think this is a great question — I’ve been there on both counts, and I think it’s something that can be unique to overachieving chicks. (And apologies in advance for every time I say “he” or “the guy” — I really do just mean the person you’re dating, but it can be so much more awkward to write.) First, let me start by saying that in the beginning, I wanted a guy who was “more” than me — taller, smarter, richer, more successful.
Still, I had particular problems dating other people in the same field as me because my competitive instincts came out, and if a guy hadn’t approached things exactly the same way that I had, then I had respect issues. Do you respect the person you’re dating and his or her career choices?And I think that brings us to the first topic: – Respect. Does a career that pays less, or requires less time, rate lower in your eyes? If you find yourself rolling your eyes when he explains things to you about his career or his job, it may be time to move on.On the flip side — do you think he respects what you do, and the time required for it? (I always hear stories of women “hiding shopping bags,” in some cases so their significant others won’t realize how much money they have to spend on frivolous things.Those stories always make me a bit sad — you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide something from a person you’re serious about, and certainly not from a true partner.) – Lifestyle.While you’re slaving away at the office, what is he doing with his free time?
If he’s going to bars every night or playing video games, do either of those activities worry you?If he doesn’t seem to be doing anything and is just so excited to get your call, does bother you?Hypothetically, if you had a similar schedule, what would you be doing with your free time?Sometimes lifestyles will just not be a fit — I went on a few dates with a stand-up comic who had huge stretches of time where he would be doing nothing, and then he’d be on the road for several weeks at a time.He was fairly successful — even had a minor tv show on a channel I’d never heard of — but our careers left us with such different lifestyles that I couldn’t see it working out in the long term with him. Some people like to talk to their significant other frequently on the phone.(I haaaate the phone, and I certainly never had time for long lovey-dovey talks when I was at the firm.) Some people like to be taken to really nice restaurants or the “hot” new place, which your date may or may not be able to afford (either for you or for him).