How does a 56 year old man find a good younger woman that would be interested in marriage and willing to have children by him? Most good sites line me up with the 50 year olds and most 36 year olds tend to think I’m a dirty old man.
I know that such a person exists but can’t find a good avenue to find her. Thank you, Dale, for acknowledging a few very common truths from the world of online dating.
Most 36-year-old women think you’re a dirty old man. This does not mean that you’re not a great guy with a ton to give and the purest intentions. I know you were looking for advice, Dale, so I don’t want to leave you without it. One, sign up with one of those successful men/younger women sites.
Now you’re going to get the same song and dance as every other guy who has written to complain about women on the Internet. So let’s say you’re a 36-year-old woman, entering the prime of your life. Yeah, 45 is a little old, you say, but you want to be open-minded. It’s that you’re failing to recognize what most younger women want. At least you know that a woman on Millionaire Match might be more willing to sacrifice youth for security.
You’re done with the bar scene and you’re very much interested in settling down to have a family of your own. Well, if you’re born in 1971, you’re part of Generation X. Your friends are buying their first houses and having their first kids. Maybe he’ll still be vigorous enough to keep up with your active lifestyle. Next, since you can’t convince someone to date an older man, stop trying.
And then you, the 36-year-old woman, post your profile, and what happens? It doesn’t stop older men from writing, but at least you don’t have to explain yourself to a man who doesn’t want to hear your perfectly valid explanation. But you must understand that any woman you desire online has choices. She can go out with a cute, successful man who is 35. To find out who IS interested, try Match.com’s Reverse Match.
You get BOMBARDED by emails from fifty and sixty something Baby Boomers looking to trade up in the world. Yet these men keep on writing – talking about how they’re young for their age, how they’d love to have children, how they have everything in life except a good younger woman. Understand, Dale, there is nothing wrong with you being attracted to a fertile and youthful woman in her 30’s. Instead of searching through hundreds of thirtysomething women who wouldn’t give you a second look, Reverse Match shows you who IS open to dating a 56-year-old man.
You double check your profile to see if there’s something you wrote that’s attracting these older men. If you’re 36, you’re pretty darned confused by these emails. By the time the kid is in high school, Dad will be 74! There’ll be fewer numbers, but at least you won’t be wasting your time. There are a lot of amazing ones out there and they are criminally underappreciated.
By the time you have your first child, you’ll be 38 or 39. That’s not the kind of life you imagined for yourself or your children. Let’s just hope that they don’t discriminate against men their own age.
This is so true, and it doesn’t stop in the 30s, either.
I’ll be 42 in a couple of weeks, and in two years of online dating, I’d say about 70% of the people who write to me are fifty and over, often MUCH over.
I think the record so far is the 74-year-old who said he could have his daughter pick him up at the nursing home and bring him into the city if I were willing to meet for coffee. Your last line is telling, though, and hints at the broader trend. Unfortunately, it seems that all the men my age only want much younger women, which leaves me with the 20-somethings who think “MILF” is an appropriate subject line and write messages about being “into older women,” and the aforementioned geriatric (or borderline) set. If everyone is looking downstream, age-wise (except the few who have a “kink” for older types), where does that leave those of us who really are looking for a peer? Should I adjust my objectives to what the market has to offer?
This question is exactly why I’m on a dating hiatus at the moment, since I just can’t bring myself to seek out a much older man, or play the cougar.