He doesn’t make a lot of money, and we’ve been together long enough for both of us to know I’m not using him to buy me things, but it’s embarrassing sometimes and frustrating when he conveniently “forgets” that I paid for dinner last time we were together and that it’s his turn to pay now.
And if you honestly believe he would think you’re a gold-digger simply for pointing out that he doesn’t cover the bill as often as you’d like, you have bigger problems than having a cheapskate for a boyfriend.
But, assuming you’re just feeling awkward about bringing up the topic of money because you aren’t used to discussing finances and bill-splitting and not because your relationship is actually in trouble, I have a few tips I’d suggest (all of which involve COMMUNICATING, so get ready):1.
Decide together on an amount you’re both comfortable spending on dates and groceries (including travel expenses, gas, etc.) every month.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected](be sure to read these guidelines first). My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years.
You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram.
You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.We do not live together, so when we go to each other’s homes, we will either get groceries to cook or get takeout.When he visits me, I will buy the food ahead of time or order takeout so it’s there when he arrives, footing the bill for the whole thing and not asking for him to pay me back.But when I visit him, he never has any sort of meal planned and, once we do figure out what we are going to do for dinner, we end up splitting the bill or splitting our groceries and paying separately.He has, on occasion, said, “I’ll buy you lunch/breakfast,” but more often than not his line is, “How do you want to pay for this?” (Which, to me, is him basically setting the situation up so he doesn’t pay for the entire thing because, if my response was “Well, it would be nice if you bought us dinner” or “I bought dinner last time, so it’s your turn,” I become kind of embarrassed and feel like a gold-digger).