When you’re frustrated that you’re doing more than your fair share in a relationship, do you feel the need to take action and try to talk the man your with into giving more? And you don’t need me to tell you that most men will resist your efforts.That’s because of something I call “the convincer”.
In order for a man to respect your feelings and needs, he needs to feel safe to share his true feelings with you.
And the way to do that is to show him you’re not just venting your feelings but rather truly interested in what he has to say.
Men – just like women – need to feel like it’s okay to have their feelings, and that they will be heard and respected.
And when they realize their partner isn’t really listening or interested in who they truly are or how they truly feel, they will start to shut off bit by bit.
So, approach difficult conversations with a spirit of negotiation.
Understand that he has his own reasons for feeling the way he does, and listen with the intent of reaching an agreement that pleases both of you.This kind of listening makes a man feel most comfortable to open up and respond with a deeper level of thought, care and honesty.There’s something absolutely critical you need to get about men if you want to enjoy a lasting relationship that feels easy and like a fit for you and for the man you’re with.It’s this: men do not respond to criticism in relationships.Now, this might sound obvious; but women often accidentally end up criticizing a man in an effort to make the relationship better.You’ll say, “I think we need to do more romantic things together,” and all he’ll most likely hear is, “You’re a lousy boyfriend.” In the end, even subtle criticism will motivate a man to distance himself from you and see your relationship as a negative place he needs to get away from in order to feel better about himself.