And the first thing I can tell you is this – it’s not easy.
Start here and then come back to my blog every day, because as you’ll soon see – I’m learning as I go! Her children's games are the only ones she wants to play. Feel like she's perfect except you don't want kids? It's also a real question that single moms actually hear. Don't be surprised — or rude — when she hasn't heard the latest from Beyoncé or seen any movies.It's probably best you move along if either of you wants something long-term.2. Instead of pretending you know what it's like, ask questions and be humble. Planning time for mascara is hard enough; popular culture becomes the Great White Buffalo.You might have a really fun time with your nephew at Christmas, but this isn't the same as cleaning up vomit at 3 a.m. Do make her a mixed CD and enjoy watching Netflix together after the kiddos hit the hay. Throw everything you know about scheduling out the window. There is nothing more beautiful than a joyful child.Ask about what she loves about being a mom, ask about what her kids' interests are, admit that you've never seen 3. At least not until you're all functioning as a family unit, which takes time, honesty, and patience, and possibly some therapy. Be ready for rapid-fire spontaneity or an ironclad calendar.
Liking her kids isn't the same as raising her kids. You're at the mercy of custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, skinned knees, stuffy noses, and — buy her wine for this one — lice. Throw everything you know about Sunday Funday out the window. You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. Until the mini people are old enough to get their own cereal and turn on the cartoons, there's no such thing as sleeping in. She probably doesn't need saving, but she definitely needs a massage. If you really want to impress everyone, let her sleep while you get the pancakes going and put the coffee on, or take everyone on a doughnut run. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don't talk badly about him in front of the kids (it's actually included in many custody agreements; don't make a sticky situation stickier). She can't just see how the night goes and stay out as long as she might want. Handling what life serves is her modus operandi — she's been handling it since before you came along, and she's prepared to handle it if you leave. Pamper her because you admire her Terminator strength to always keep going.13. If you want to whisk her away for a romantic weekend, offer to help with the parental logistics so she's relaxed on her trip, not distracted with worry. Glazed old-fashioned might be the closest thing to a Bloody Mary you both can get. Speaking of Bloody Marys, hangovers aren't an option anymore. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11! Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight? It's not about being in your 20s or your 30s or your 40s; it's about keeping it together during a living room performance of and wiping butts and doing laundry. Say good-bye to after-parties, say hello to more-time-for sex (Lock the door! I have two kids, an 8-year-old and the other just over a year.