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If your profile is on an online dating site there will be times when you get winks or emails from people who don’t seem the least compatible.

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Today I want to talk about responding to guys who wink or send emails. You can always write a no thank you letter yourself with a little more detail if so inclined. Don’t send an encouraging letter if he’s a smoker or has dogs and you hate both.I recently got some winks from a bevy of men all at the same time. Most of the time women are eager to respond to men who wink at them. He’s not going to change habits and you’re not going to be able to ignore those things.Odd, very odd, and less than 24 hours later three of them have pulled their profiles. It is an indication of some level of interest and you will want to consider it. It’s tempting to engage, after all, that’s what online dating is all about. Suppose he’s a motorcycle rider (and for some odd reason many middle-aged men have bikes and show them on their profiles) and you aren’t, but you like his looks.Send an email telling him you’re interested, that he find him attractive and you’d like to get to know him. It’s easy to get caught up in the game, like being in an ice cream shop and wanting to sample every flavor.And, somewhere in there, tell him you’ll never get on his bike but if he still wants to correspond you’d like that. You should already know what your ‘deal breakers’ are and stick to them. And, no matter how cute, how appealing his book list or interests, I know we won’t be a match. There will be times when you’re not getting much activity and any wink or email is exciting.

The key is to be objective about the guy before diving in.

How you decide to respond will depend on your ultimate goal.

If he’s really not your type don’t waste your time. Next time let’s talk about how to carry on a conversation with two or more men at the same time.

The internet is still abuzz from INAM’s shocking expose, Match From a Hot Girl’s Perspective. Here’s Olivia’s suggestion: I honestly don’t mind when someone emails me twice.

In fact, just today it was reposted on the Huffington Post! In fact, I probably respond to more second emails than first emails.

(Can not add link because I totally made that up.) But as we suggested last week, we are not done with Olivia, our resident hot chick. When I go through my inbox, I do read every message.